‘My sons didn’t mind me talking about my funeral plans’: Annie
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For Annie, talking about death and preparing for the future came fairly easily.
Last year on a family holiday, Annie started the conversations with her adult sons.
“They didn’t mind me talking about it. I told them the music that I’d like at my funeral, one particular song I want them to include, and I trust them.”
These types of conversations were important to Annie as she wanted to share her wishes with her sons while she was alive. Both her adult sons were mature about it and eager to listen to her, Annie says. And it can be lighthearted conversations too, she says.
“I have no concerns with (my funeral) being a really fun happy event.”
Annie then followed up her verbal wishes with a will.
New research from Public Trust shows many Kiwis avoid or don’t like talking about death.
“I think people are frightened to talk about death as it makes it feel too real,” explains Annie, who lives in Mount Maunganui.
“It’s easier not to have that conversation,” she says.
“I don’t have a lot of problems talking about death. I’ve been alongside a lot of friends as they’ve passed away, right from when I was 18. Over the years, I have lost countless friends and several of my very close girl friends.”
Supporting friends in their final stages of life means Annie knows the importance of discussing things with loved ones while you can. In fact, it was a friend who died recently that was the turning point for Annie to update her own will.
“We lost a dear friend in her 50s quite suddenly from an aneurysm,” Annie explains.
“My brother and his wife were the executors of her will. They commented on how much easier the estate administration process was because her will was very clear.”
On updating her will, Annie says: “I feel like I’ve ticked a really big important box, and it wasn’t difficult. I don’t want anything to be complicated for my children.”